I had the privilege (or is it pain? Hmm) of hearing myself on a recording of a meeting recently, and goodness me was it a learning experience in self-awareness!
I’ve always noticed how other people have the unconscious habit of saying certain things, such as “Do you know what I mean?” on the end of everything or “And stuff like that” or whatever the case may be, but I did not know that I was one of those people!
In this instance, I said “Y’know” a lot! It was so regularly said and so prevalent that it was quite distracting and (I feel) made me come across as a mumbling jumbling fool! But, I am so glad that I heard this, because now I can make a conscious effort NOT to say y’know, you know?
I’ve pulled people up in the past about things they say regularly that they’re not aware of and yet here I am doing the same thing.
Do you know what I mean?
I have one contact in particular who finishes every sentence with “D’ya know what I mean?” I found this more frequently when I lived in London as well. It’s a very British thing to add onto the end of a sentence, do you know what I mean?
As you say in that regard
One of my contacts at the moment constantly says “As you say” and “In that regard” and always out of context. I usually don’t say anything to have them say “As you say” yet they say it every chance they get!
That’s not true
Another one that came up the other day was the response “That’s not true” to everything we said – aaah actually some of it was true, and this is just a force of habit for youl!
“And stuff like that”
This would have to be one of the most popular ones and stuff like that. And there are probably a whole heap more that I am not across that are prevalent amongst teens and millennials that I am totally out of the loop on.
The issue is, however, how do we know we are doing it unless a) someone whom we know, like and trust tells us or b) we see or hear ourselves on a recording? And if we know it’s recording, how do we not change our behaviour so that we can get an authentic version of our natural selves?
I’m 100% certain the folks above have no idea they’re saying what they’re saying – I certainly didn’t!
If you do bring it to someone’s attention, be kind and share that it’s a lesson in self-awareness and you’re just trying to help them portray themselves in the best light possible. But remember – you have to be receptive to their feedback as well, so they may have some counter advice which you are also not aware of – d’ya know what I mean?
Now that I’m conscious of this, I get round it by truly thinking before I speak. I don’t fill in the awkward silences; I ensure my interactions are of value and substance which helps to increase my cred. Once you say things regularly, and people pick up on that, they’ll tend to discount or disregard the value of what you’re saying because the listener will only hear your overused unconscious repetitive sayings.
What others can you add to the list? I’m sure there are HEAPS of other unconscious quotes that can be added to this list, y’know!